


The Way the Wind Blew

by thetroll



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-01-29 19:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21415492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetroll/pseuds/thetroll
Summary: InuYasha tells Kagome it's over, leaving her broken hearted. But that's not the worst of it and he deals Kagome another blow that she struggles to recover from. Yet the world doesn't end. Instead, Sesshomaru finds her and takes her under his wing.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/Sesshoumaru
Comments: 26
Kudos: 386





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got dumped and I guess this is my way of processing. It's a shitshow to read, so proceed at your own risk. My emotions are so raw that this is my best way of processing them.

Kagome sat on the edge of the well, listless.

She had no more tears left to cry. Her eyes were swollen and red and the skin around them felt raw, like it had been burnt. She'd cried so hard she'd wailed herself hoarse. 

She felt lethargic, listless, as she lay down, unable to even bring herself to eat though it had been hours since her last meal. She just didn’t care. Her eyes felt raw, the skin beneath her lids swollen and feeling as though they’d been burned. Her chest was heavy and each breath she took felt like too much of a burden on her exhausted body.

She’d cried so hard she’d wailed, burying her face in her lapels until she’d soaked them clear through. She’d then curled in on herself, weeping her hands until she was too dehydrated to summon any more tears.

_Sorry, K'gome, but I ain't in a place to date. 'Sides, you deserve better than a man like me._

The words haunted her. He'd left her with those words and she'd cried, but she'd thought she understood his fears. Even thought she could help him overcome them. InuYasha wasn't the best man who ever lived, but he'd been hers and she'd wanted him. She'd loved him. And she believed she could help him overcome his fears and embrace a future together.

But when she'd finally gone to talk to him later that night, she found him in another woman's embrace. She didn't even bother to try and see who it was. She'd been too startled to try.

_Sorry, K'gome, but I ain't in a place to date. 'Sides, you deserve better than a man like me._

The same words that had broken her heart earlier now haunted her, breaking her down further until there was no pride left at all. She'd just slumped to the ground, barely out of sight, and wept.

She hadn't even been angry. She didn't have the energy to be angry. All she could do was cry. Cry for the loss of what they had together. Cry for the time she'd wasted on him. Cry for herself because despite how much she'd hurt, she still wanted to go back to him, to beg him to change his mind, to cry out that she still believed they had a chance. She still couldn't fully let go of the idea that he would come to his senses and find her and beg for her forgiveness, tell her it was all some horrible mistake and that he did want her after all.

It was foolish. It was a naive dream. It was pathetic.

But she'd still wanted to do it.

Part of her now, hours later, wanted to be angry. Wanted to find the energy to curse him, to scream out that she hoped he rotted after what he'd put her through.

She couldn't summon up the energy to try. All she could do was slump down, heart breaking, and wish the pain would eventually leave.

.

Sesshomaru walked through the forest, his footsteps taking him further and further away from Rin. The girl had been distracted today, though she hadn't said about what. 

He suspected she was attracted to a boy. One of the villagers, perhaps. She'd acclimated readily enough to the village his half-brother guarded and now seemed to be moving forward with her life. He knew she still cared for him, but she was slowly being pulled further and further away from him. Soon enough, she wouldn't require his presence any longer.

It was an odd feeling, for one such as he. He'd never cared for another being in such a way before and he'd initially thought he'd return to his old life without issue. Instead, he found himself feeling bereft, lonely. He wanted to care for someone, he slowly realized. He wanted to someone to protect.

He stopped short as he finally noticed the woman in front of him. His half-brother's woman, yet InuYasha was nowhere to be found and the woman clearly had been crying. She'd been hurt, deeply, so much so that pain radiated off of her.

At first, he suspected something had happened to InuYasha, only to recall that his half-brother's scent had been both healthy and prevalent in the village. He wasn't sure what else could have driven the woman to such a desperate low.

He sighed; the woman had always been troublesome. It would be up to him to return her safely to her home. She'd earned that much, at least, by her destruction of Naraku.

"Come," he said, pulling her as gently as he could to her feet. "I shall return you to InuYasha."

She flinched and tried to sink down to the ground. It was only his strong hold that kept her from doing so. "No," she whispered, the voice so quiet and lifeless that only his inuyokai hearing allowed him to pick up the words at all.

He stared at her as she evaded his gaze. She kept looking at the ground, but he sensed the refusal within her was stronger than she was letting on. If he returned her to his half-brother, she would just leave again and she was currently in no condition to protect herself. He was hard pressed to assume InuYasha would be able to watch over her properly if she had already been left unattended this long.

His mind weighed the options but there was really only one it could accept. She would simply have to come with him until she overcame whatever issue she was having with InuYasha. He would take her back to his home and send Jaken back with a message to InuYasha so the hanyo could retrieve her later. He didn't dare leave her alone long enough to deliver the message himself.

"Come," he said again, "I will take you home. My home," he clarified at the panic he sensed within her.

She relaxed enough to allow him to gather her on his cloud without fear she'd fall. As he flew back with her, he found himself relaxing. Though he likely wouldn't keep her for long—the hanyo wasn't fool enough to risk doing without her—he would have someone to protect. Someone to look after.

For the time being, she needed him and he needed her.

For now, it was enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I don't really know what is happening with this fic. Probably because I don't know what's happening with me, either. I feel lost. So I don't know if I'll continue it. Please don't hold that against me.

Kagome lay on the floor of the room Sesshomaru had brought to her, too empty to bother with anything. She took little note of the room and less of her surroundings beyond.

She just didn't have the energy to care. What did it matter where she was or who she was with? It changed nothing about her circumstances.

_Sorry, K'gome, but I ain't in a place to date. 'Sides, you deserve better than a man like me._

The words continue to repeat over and over again in her head. She wished she could toss them out like she would paper, but nothing she did seemed to stop those words from repeating.

And all the while, the guilt and sorrow built upon her weary heart. She couldn't help but wonder if she could have done more. If she could have done something different, perhaps the outcome would have changed. If she'd tried harder or maybe if she'd pushed him less, if she'd loved him more or if her love had pushed him away—she didn't know, but she desperately wanted to. 

The feelings that she'd done something to drive this outcome just couldn't be shaken. What else would have driven InuYasha to suddenly push her away but something of her own doing? 

She felt her eyes water, wanting to tear, but she was too exhausted and drained to actually cry.

She shivered, cold, but she was too exhausted to move over to the futon and pull the blanket over her. What was a little cold, anyway, when her heart was so empty and lonesome?

.

Sesshomaru stood outside the priestess' room, uncertain as to his next move with her. It was a rarity when he did not know the right course of action, but in this case, he was at a loss.

She would not eat, she would not sleep, and she would not drink, despite him providing her with a proper place to sit, regular meals, and water. All three, he knew from his time traveling with Rin, were critical for a human to remain at capacity. He didn't know how long she could go without, but it had been over a day since he'd found her and he was concerned.

It would not do for the Shikon priestess to die in his keeping.

Yet how would he convince her otherwise? She remained unresponsive in his presence. Worse still, his half-brother had yet to see fit to answer Sesshomaru's summons and collect the girl.

He thought back to what little he know of the woman. She cared for the others in his half-brother's pack, he knew, often mothering them, even InuYasha. She needed to be needed yet it did not diminish her own inner strength. She had more power than any other monk or priestess he'd encountered, though he by no means put her on level with a being like Sesshomaru himself. She had used that power to defeat Naraku when no other had succeeded. She had disappeared for a time after but had reappeared, ready to wed his foolish half-brother.

He knew little else of the girl. He knew nothing of her origins nor who her clan was. She seemed to have relinquished them to be with the hanyo.

Finally, he gave up. No knowledge he currently possessed of the girl would aid in his plight to save her from herself. He would simply have to think beyond that.

He went back to his kitchen to prepare another tray of food and a pot of tea. This time, he prepared it himself, hoping that if she'd understood the honor he was bestowing, the effort he'd put in, she'd be less likely to reject the substance her body so desperately needed.

He was quick and efficient. It had been many years since he'd prepared food for anyone—the last time had been just after his father had passed and his mother had sequestered herself for a few days. She'd eaten what he prepared and ultimately had returned a stronger, yet colder, woman for it.

He wondered if the priestess would recover likewise.

He returned with the tray, the kettle and tea cup balanced upon it along with food he felt would be easy enough for her to eat in her weakened state. If the servants saw him, he cared not. After all, what say had they in how he lived his life?

If he chose to prepare food for a human, it was certainly his own choice and his alone to make.

He opened the door to her room, sliding it open with one booted foot, before he stepped inside. He didn't bother to announce his presence; she didn't give any sign that she'd care whether he did or did not, so why waste the effort on civility?

He set the tray down in front of her and then dropped to sit down beside it, leaning against the wall as he faced her. He casually rested one arm on his propped knee and waited a moment for the aroma of the tea to hit her nose.

"Eat, priestess," he commanded, though he kept his voice to a soothing cadence that had worked on Rin before. "This one would be most displeased if you rejected the gift he prepared for you." 

He waited again, intent on forcing her to respond.

She exhaled louder than normal but didn't answer him directly.

"Eat," he said again, his tone harder. He wouldn't tell her a third time, a fact he wanted to impress fully upon her.

She exhaled again. "I'm not hungry," she said after a moment, her voice cracking.

He raised a brow, though he was uncertain if she was looking at him to see it—or through him. "It was not a request," he said mildly. "Your body is weak and requires sustenance. Eat."

"I said I don't want to!" she snapped and he was momentarily taken aback by the vehemence in her tone. She then rolled away from him, burying her face in her hands. "Just go away, Sesshomaru." Her voice was so faint that he barely heard her at all.

His lips thinned. "Are you the same human who challenged me in my father's tomb?" he asked, figuring that part of her problem must stem from the fact that she was not expressing herself properly. If that was the case, he would provoke her into doing so and hopefully cleanse away the negative emotions coursing through her.

Humans were so difficult to keep well.

"Are you the same human who shot me with her arrows? Who brought InuYasha to heel?" She flinched and he decided against pressing the subject. Something must have happened with his half-brother, he thought to himself, but he would learn of what later, when she was well enough to talk about it. "The same human who defeated Naraku and banished the Shikon jewel when all else failed?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" she practically wailed, curling in tighter on herself. "I just want to be left alone! Is that so much to ask?!"

It reminded him of the scene in his father's tomb. She had made demands of him then, too.

His lip curled in a familiar expression, though she couldn't see it. "And who are you to make demands of this one?" he asked her, his voice low.

She flinched. "Nobody." She sighed, sounding defeated once more.

He closed his eyes for a moment, irritated with himself. Nothing he did with this human seemed to work. He'd never been able to intimidate her, command her, or defeat her. Even at her lowest, she still managed to best him.

Troublesome human.

And yet he respected her for it, as well. No other dared to do as she did. No other would have survived the experience. For that alone, she was worthy of his assistance. 

So help her he would, in spite of herself.

"Kagome," he said, using her name for the first time as he decided to tell her the truth behind his actions. She rolled over to stare at him in surprise. "This one prepared this food to aid you. He has not done so for any other being in many years. Would you turn away his efforts?"

She bit her lower lip, mulling over his words. "No," she said after a moment as she sighed again, "I'll eat."

He kept his own sigh of relief to himself. She would eat. For now, that was enough. 

The rest, he was confident, would come in time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me if I sound callous, but please do not simply leave a comment on this work that just says 'update soon' or something to that effect. This piece... It's a very emotional piece for me because it's tied to my own relationship and being dumped by someone I really cared for and... seeing that sort of comment in my email just makes me feel like what I'm going through isn't important. Everything in this stems from me and my own experiences, so it's not something I can just write another chapter to and put out there. I'm sorry.

A few days passed, a fact Kagome only knew by the regularity of the meals Sesshomaru brought her and the daily change in natural lighting in her room.

She still struggled to eat, though Sesshomaru refused to accept anything less than a full stomach from her when he brought her a meal.

But in this, at least, Sesshomaru had his way. She simply didn't have the energy to argue. She would eat if only so he would leave her alone with her misery that much sooner. After he left with the half-eaten tray, she could fall back under the covers and once again drown in her own misery.

What went wrong? Where did she fail? If it took two to make a relationship, then it stood to follow that it likewise took two to break one. InuYasha wasn't without his faults, but she'd known them and had accepted them. The faults he had didn't offset the good she found in their relationship. They might frustrate or annoy her—at times even enrage her—but the love she found with him, the gentle way he'd treated her, had been enough to overcome that.

And yet now, looking back, she no longer could say the same for herself. Had she offered him enough good to offset the bad? The gods knew she'd been known for her temper, her moodiness, and had upon multiple occasions, expressed jealousy that only seemed to emphasize her own insecurity in the relationship. No matter how long she was with InuYasha, no matter how long they'd been together as a couple, she still couldn't seem to fully shake the shadow of Kikyo.

Perhaps that was the problem. Perhaps InuYasha had sensed the insecurities hadn't fully faded and pulled way. Or maybe she'd chased him away with her childish need to be loved more than he loved anyone or anything else.

She buried her face in her hands. As much as she hated the way she'd acted with him, enough had passed now that she could also think about his actions outside the tinted glasses of love. He had been selfish and time hadn't softened that. He continued to put himself first, even when it negatively impacted others, including Kagome herself. He said things that hurt her and he expected her to forgive him because she always had before. And he had the propensity to disappear for days on end, doing this or that, without telling her, leaving her feeling alone and abandoned. 

Why did she love him still?

She should hate him. Sometimes, the thoughts in her head made her feel like she did. She would daydream of what she'd say, of how she'd break him down like he broke her down, but in the end, it didn't make her feel any better. If anything, it only made her cry again.

What could would telling him anything now do her? She would still be alone.

But despite all of that, despite his faults and hers, despite the unhappiness, she'd had enough happiness with him that she still tried to rationalize it over the bad. She still wanted him back, even knowing that nothing would change. There was no proof that InuYasha would ever change, though her heart ached to be proven wrong.

For _him_ to prove her wrong.

She shouldn't feel that way. She didn't want to be miserable when she knew she deserved better. InuYasha didn't come after her; he probably didn't even realize she'd left.

Why did she still want him?

Sighing, she pulled the blanket over her head and wrapped herself into a cocoon and forced herself to lay still until slept finally claimed her.

.

Sesshomaru sat down on a cushion in his own room, his mind wandering as it had of late back to the human priestess he'd brought back with him.

He was surprised by her continued withdrawal. He didn't have much to compare the girl with, but Rin had recovered quickly enough from her own difficulties, yet this priestess seemed incapable of even leaving her room at the moment. 

It grated him.

Yet what could he do to remedy the situation? He wouldn't stoop low enough to seek counsel from another human on his own human's condition, nor would a yokai be of any help should he relinquish enough pride to ask one of his own kind.

He stood and began pacing the floor of his room without conscious thought. He wished the girl to recover so she would return on her own, since his half-brother didn't see fit to retrieve her himself.

Nor did he think it prudent to give Kagome the message InuYasha had given Jaken.

_Tell K'gome I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt her. She'll find someone better than me but I ain't good for her._

Apparently, InuYasha's new woman had a few more...colorful additions to InuYasha's, though Jaken hadn't bothered to remember them. The woman, after all, was a nobody in Jaken's mind, even if she was now tied to his foolish half-brother. If the relationship lasted, Sesshomaru would be forced to acknowledge the woman, if only in the periphery, but Sesshomaru doubted InuYasha knew what he wanted well enough to keep her if he hadn't kept his priestess.

Perhaps the priestess simply had to be forced from her stupor. If she would not leave her bed and room of her own accord, then it would seem that he would have to change course and ensure that she did so, whether she wanted to or not. If she would not look after her own interests, then as her guardian, however temporary, he would do so for her.

Humans were so difficult, he thought to himself, yet somewhere along the way he'd stopped thinking she was undeserving of his help. He would aid her in her mental recovery, whatever it took. She had earned that.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry, Kagome," InuYasha said, pulling her into his warm embrace. "I was a fool. I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize what I'd thrown away."

She sobbed into his chest as his hands rubbed up and down her back in a very un-InuYasha way to soothe her. "I've been waiting to hear that," she sniffed, relief saturating through her body. "I hoped... I didn't want to throw this all away."

She buried her face in his chest to hide the tears she couldn't stop.

But InuYasha didn't let her hide for long. After a moment, he pulled back and offered her a handful of flowers she didn't realize he'd been holding. "I remembered..." He rubbed his nose with his free hand, looking awkward. "In your time... Men give women they like flowers, right?"

The flowers he offered her were a collection of wildflowers that he'd picked on the way, but to her, they were beautiful. 

Her hands trembled as she reached out to take them, the delightful aroma of fresh flowers wafting up to her nose. She didn't think she'd ever been happier in her life, not even when they'd finally beaten Naraku.

"Thank you," she said, her voice still shaky with emotion. 

"Don't worry, Kagome. I won't ever leave you again. I promise." He smiled as he pulled her in close to kiss her but as she lifted her face to meet his kiss, the entire situation struck her as odd. Alone, no single action of his was especially wrong, but together, it painted a very un-InuYasha picture in her mind.

She pulled back, stopping the kiss before it even happened though every part of her ached to change her mind. "No," she said, her voice cracking, "this is all wrong. You aren't InuYasha at all."

With abrupt clarity, she remembered the events over the last few days, including where she was.

"I'm dreaming," she breathed, noticing that InuYasha didn't even seem bothered by her refusal. He was just standing there, waiting, as if he expected her to shrug it off and kiss him anyway. "You aren't InuYasha; he's back in the village still. You're just my imagination."

At that realization, she awoke, curling in tighter on herself. She felt pathetic and she was disappointed in herself, not just for wanting InuYasha badly enough to dream he'd returned to her, but to dream their reunion in a way that was so totally opposite reality.

She couldn't quite stifle her sob, though whether she was crying over InuYasha or her own stupidity, she didn't know. 

But at the sound, the door to her room was slid open and Sesshomaru stepped inside. He didn't say a word as he strode over to her and bent down beside her. With quick, efficient motions, he used the blanket to wrap her up so tightly she couldn't move and then he simply tossed her over his shoulder and strode out of her room.

She was so surprised it took her a moment to protest and by the time she was able to put together the words to complain, Sesshomaru was already out of the shiro.

_Does he mean to throw me out?_ Kagome couldn't say she was surprised by that. Sesshomaru seemed like the type of being who only kept around people who were of use to him and the gods knew she hadn't been. She'd eaten his food, taking up valuable time as he prepared it for her, and she hadn't even left her room since he'd dumped her in it.

But to her surprise, he dropped her down before an outdoor natural hot spring instead, not far from the main building of the shiro itself.

"This one understands that you enjoy such things," he said calmly as his way of an explanation. 

She thought he would leave her there to free herself of the blanket and make use of the spring.

Instead, in brisk movements, he unwrapped the blanket and then unceremoniously picked her up and dumped her into the hot spring himself, ignoring the fact that he got his boots and the bottom of his pants wet in the process. 

"Hey!" she sputtered, trying to keep water from going up her nose. "You didn't have to throw me in, Sesshomaru!"

Sesshomaru raised a brow but otherwise ignored her protest. 

"Sesshomaru!" she hissed. "If you want me to bathe, _fine_, but you don't have to stand there and watch!"

"Should this one not?" he replied easily. "It seems to this one that you cannot care properly for yourself now so this one will remain here to ensure your well-being."

She took a deep breath. It suddenly seemed like too much of a struggle to argue so she simply didn't. If he wanted to watch, let him, though she doubted he'd see anything he'd find enticing. After all, InuYasha had walked away from her easily enough and he _had_ seen her naked on more than one occasion. 

But that didn't make the ordeal any less awkward. In the end, the situation was uncomfortable, but her dream had been even more uncomfortable and since it replayed over and over in her head as she bathed, she could think of little else.

When all was said and done, Sesshomaru bundled her back up and took her back to her room, insisting she change into clean clothes. The clothes he provided were simple, at least. She'd been afraid he might try and dress her in the heavy layers of a well-born lady in this era. But instead, she found simple kimono in the small chest he'd indicated.

After she'd changed, he allowed her to snuggle back under the covers, but the message had been understood without him saying a word: he would be back and he would continue to usher her to do his bidding.

Kagome simply resigned herself to that fate. Sesshomaru would get his way because he would accept nothing else.

And with no one else to attach herself to, she attached herself to him, seeing his actions as a measure of caring, though she never would have before. He might well kick her out once she recovered, but that didn't matter now.

For now, someone cared for her and that was enough.


	5. Chapter 5

Kagome found herself outside more and more in the coming days, more so because Sesshomaru refused to leave her alone than any real desire of hers to leave her room.

But she had to admit, if only to herself, that she was doing better for all she'd been forced out. The change of scenery did her good, forced her to get out of her own head—if only for a little while. 

Still, it was odd to have a daiyokai mothering her. 

Yet he was surprisingly adept at it.

"Move under the parasol. You must keep from damaging yourself further," he'd lectured her earlier that morning after he'd noticed the telltale signs of a burn on her skin from the day before.

And later on that morning, "You must drink," he'd demanded, indicating a fresh pot of tea he'd brought with him with a regal wave of his hand. "You will not be allowed to damage yourself in my care."

And, just moments ago, "You _will_ eat."

She eyed the plate of food he'd brought her. Like the others, it was made of more simple food than she'd have expected from a great house, but one that she found easy to eat and keep down despite the misery rolling through her stomach.

"Why?" she asked the inuyokai who hadn't left. Nor would he, based on her previous encounters with him, until he'd felt like she'd eaten a substantial amount of the food he'd prepared. At his raised brow, she clarified, "Why are you helping me?"

He met her gaze. "You are worthy."

She blinked in astonishment, abruptly certain he'd never spoken those words to anyone before in his life. "Because I destroyed Naraku?" she guessed, unable to think of anything else that would have raised her esteem in his eyes.

He calmly raised his chin but he didn't answer her.

She guessed that was the closest she'd get to vocal agreement from him.

She looked down at her sandals and stockinged feet. It was still odd to wear the geta regularly, no matter how long she'd lived in the era. "Why is it that you can see my worth but he can't?" she asked quietly, though she didn't expect an answer.

Sesshomaru wasn't exactly known for his warm, fuzzy conversations.

Sesshomaru simply looked at her quietly as she sighed. She'd expected as much. She was surprised that he'd answered her question to start with, but she was grateful that he did, if only to lessen her own confusion. 

"Never mind," she said after a moment, the silence more than she could cope with. "It's nice not to be alone."

"So it is," he replied after a moment, looking amused at her surprise. "It makes this one's home tolerable."

She stared at him, unable to help herself, though she could see the humor glinting in his eyes as she did so. "You don't like living here?" It was a hard idea for her to fathom; she'd both loved and needed her home and a place to belong to, yet It seemed as though Sesshomaru needed no such thing. 

His expression was flat. "It is simply a place to live," he replied easily as though it mattered not to him where he lived. He seemed completely unfazed by elegance and opulence of his home—and it _was_ elegant and opulent, for the quiet signs of his wealth were everywhere. Even his guest rooms were decorated with silk screens, silk doors, and silk bedding, a fact most great houses wouldn't have bothered with unless they were showing off.

Or so she _thought_, at least; feudal history had been the class she'd slept through the most back when she'd been traveling with InuYasha and her friends to defeat Naraku. She'd figured she was living it, so why bother paying attention when she likely knew it better than her teachers did?

It had been arrogant of her, but then again, she'd been fifteen. Not that she was much older now at nineteen, but she liked to think she'd grown and matured since then.

"Well," she said simply, struggling to think of something to say in response, "it's a very nice shiro, Sesshomaru."

She had the feeling that if he'd been human, he'd have shrugged. "Jaken oversaw its construction."

Well, that explained its extravagance, she thought to herself. Jaken never seemed to do anything by halves.

"So why have it built?" she asked, unsure what had triggered this sudden curiosity of hers. She wouldn't have cared just yesterday, she was sure, but suddenly she cared a great deal about his answer.

_Distraction_, she realized a moment later. It distracted her from what she was feeling. Her own misery felt lessened by focusing on something outside herself and the relief from her pain was too great for her not to latch on.

"It was time," was his cryptic reply.

She sighed heavily. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, Sesshomaru," she groused.

"This one was unaware that his answers would be insufficient," came the irritating retort.

She ground her teeth together but made the valiant effort not to let him bait her. 

To her surprise, he decided to elaborate of his own accord. "It will be a mating gift."

Kagome stared at Sesshomaru, looking for some sign that he was joking. "You're getting married? To who?" She couldn't even picture Sesshomaru with a woman without fighting with her, likely for some perceived insult against his person. He wasn't exactly the easiest yokai to get along with.

"It has not been decided," he replied carelessly. He might as well have been a human talking about the weather for all the inflection in his voice.

_So he built the shiro for someone he hasn't met, for someone he hasn't even chosen, and yet he moved in anyway?_

_And Sesshomaru says that _humans_ are weird._

"Is that common with yokai?" she asked finally, unable to think of anything else to say.

He sniffed, looking offended. "Nothing about this one is common."

_Riiiight_. Kagome wanted to laugh at the look on his face, a fact that surprised her into losing any trace of amusement. She couldn't recall the last time she'd laughed or felt any sort of amusement and it felt weird to feel that way now. Her gaze dropped back to her feet, the misery seeping back into her body like a cold fog.

"This one is at the peak of his power. None could hope to come close to besting him." The words would have been boastful from anyone else, but Sesshomaru spoke them plainly, with a hint of boredom in his voice that belied his words. As proud as he seemed to be of his accomplishments, she guessed that he was bored that there was no one strong enough left to challenge him.

"Humans seek romantic partners who can be a partner, too," Kagome offered a moment, understanding what he didn't say. Any woman he married would likely be overwhelmed by his power, whether he intended to do so or not.

Sesshomaru had grown incredibly powerful since they'd first met; she could tell by the yoki quietly whisping about him. He didn't broadcast it, nor did it seem to be intentional, but rather an innate part of himself that he couldn't fully suppress. 

She was unaware that her own power was doing the same, quietly wrapping her body in its quiet pink reiki.

"Then why mate the hanyo?" Sesshomaru surprised her by asking. 

"Hey!" she protested angrily, "InuYasha is plenty powerful! He's worked really hard on building up his sword, you know!"

It had been second nature to defend InuYasha still, though it brought a pang to her heart. Though he had abandoned her, it seemed that it wouldn't be so easy for her to do the same. 

"His power has matured," Sesshomaru allowed to Kagome's surprise, "but your own is still greater."

She didn't know how to respond to that. Finally, she said softly, "We aren't married anymore."

"Then InuYasha is a fool," he replied, offering her a hand to pull her to her feet. "You have received enough sun. Come."

And with that, the conversation was over and Sesshomaru silently escorted her back to her room.


	6. Chapter 6

At some point—she'd given up any real attempt to keep track of the days since Sesshomaru had found her—she realized that while she _missed_ InuYasha, she wouldn't take him back even if he came to apologize before her, flowers in hand, like her silly little fantasy.

She missed his companionship, their banter, and the fun they'd had together. He had been sweet and charming in his own way when he'd wanted to be, and the seriousness with which he'd later protected her had made her feel special even when it was over the top. 

But now she could finally accept that while part of her still loved him and missed him, she hadn't been completely happy with him. She'd always put more work into the relationship than he had and she'd always been the one at his beck and call. He, on the other hand, hadn't given her the same courtesy. 

Perhaps it was his era, she reflected glumly. Men here believed they were superior to women.

But then, InuYasha hadn't tried to stop Kikyo from seeking what she'd wanted. She had been proud, powerful, and InuYasha hadn't seemed to mind that. In the few memories she'd seen, Kikyo hadn't ever put InuYasha before herself—she'd even tried to _change_ InuYasha to suit her own desires.

Yet with Kagome, she had put his needs constantly before her own instead of finding a balance. In doing so, she'd let InuYasha run right over her. She had voiced her frustrations and jealousy in heated anger but it had been wasted effort. He hadn't wanted to listen to her.

She sighed, drawing up her knees on her futon to rest her chin on her knees. 

She missed being in a relationship. She missed the security and comfort of knowing someone was there for her.

But had that person really been InuYasha? 

Her mind kept circling back to the question, unable to find anything to indicate that it had been. 

_When was the last time he did something for me?_ She thought back to countless memories since she'd returned from her time, but after their wedding, she'd drawn a blank. Nothing since then at all.

_At least, not unless I nagged him._ She sighed heavily. _And then what's the point? It wasn't enjoyable at all if I had to force him to do it._

Sango never had to force Miroku to do anything. He'd offer help if he wasn't sure if she needed it, but otherwise he stepped up without being asked. He would frequently think of Sango when going about his day, finding little ways to brighten hers.

InuYasha didn't do any of that. If he was in a bad mood, he expected her to help him out of it or to get out of his way. If _Kagome_ was in a bad mood, then he simply ignored her until her good humor returned. If she was upset or concerned, he rarely seemed to notice, even if she said the words aloud.

_I don't know why I love him_, she thought to herself miserably. _I shouldn't. I shouldn't want him._

But she wouldn't take him back. She couldn't, not if she wanted any real chance at happiness.

InuYasha was simply not going to change.

.

Sesshomaru didn't bother to contain his displeasure at Jaken's words.

"He intends to mate this female?" he demanded, his voice low. 

"Y-yes my lord," Jaken choked out on a squawk. "S-she is with child, my lord."

Sesshomaru's irritation grew. If InuYasha mated, then like as not that he would never return for the female in Sesshomaru's company, let alone recognize the terrible disservice he had rendered her by abandoning his own wife for another woman.

It simply wasn't done. Sesshomaru's own father hadn't cast his first wife aside when he'd met InuYasha's mother. It was simply unheard of.

For InuYasha to be so dishonorable bespoke of the lowest honor. If InuYasha had intended to take one as a second wife, as their great father had, then it would have been perfectly acceptable, if in poor taste not to consider his first wife before accepting a second—let alone one he'd already impregnated. It was in worst taste that he'd done so without siring an heir on his first wife, further diluting her status.

Still, Sesshomaru had no desire to air his irritation aloud before his retainer. He turned on his heel to return to his study to consider the new problem before him: what to do with his half-brother's wife now that she'd been cast aside. He could no longer hope to return her to the village she'd come from. He would not deal her such an indignity on top of what else she'd come to suffer.

"Rin is doing well, my lord," Jaken called after him, evidently hoping to soothe Sesshomaru's ire with more positive news. "A traveling artist has begun to court her."

The news had the opposite impact. Sesshomaru was even more displeased by that news than he had been by InuYasha's own betrayal of his wife and pride. An artist would be unlikely to provide for Rin, let alone protect her while they traveled. 

And Rin had sustained enough misery already.

Yet he knew the girl enough to know that her mind was her own. He could do little but hope the girl came to her senses before she made an irreversible mistake.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the sympathetic comments. I really do appreciate it.

Sesshomaru took a brush in hand, hesitating for a moment over a blank scroll lay across his desk. He suspected that if he sent the foolish hanyo this particular message, he would be stirring more trouble than he cared to deal with, yet honor told him that he couldn't allow the woman to reside with him longterm without severing her tie with InuYasha permanently in the first place.

Perhaps if she saw him again, she might find the strength to push back the wounds he'd inflicted, he mused. If anything, he doubted it would do more harm than InuYasha had already doled out. Nothing he'd done had seemed to have any major impact on helping the priestess heal and until she healed, he wouldn't be able to leave her to her own devices.

He didn't even dare visit Rin to check on his ward's courtship with the artist. He clenched the brush a little tighter. He couldn't risk bringing the woman with him nor did he want to risk leaving her on her own. 

Her power frankly terrified most of his yokai servants and he doubted that any of them could reasonably be counted on to watch over her. They were terrified she'd purify them.

If nothing changed, he would never be able to leave until the priestess' human life expired and he was already more than weary of the enclosed walls.

Sighing, he began painting the message. When he was done, he delivered it to Jaken with terse words to ensure it would be delivered directly to InuYasha and no other.

.

Somehow, Kagome never actually thought she'd see InuYasha again, yet here he was, standing with his usual brashness in Sesshomaru's shiro almost four months after she'd left the village.

In that time, she had slowly began pulling away from her feelings, though she doubted she'd ever be able to completely shake them off. Even now, her heart was both elated and horrified to see him again, the opposite emotions pulling at her until she thought they might tear her apart. 

"Look, K'gome, I made a mistake," he said without preamble, his voice gruff and without any hint that he really meant the words.

Astonished, she blinked at him from where she was sitting, her feet dangling off the wooden platform that Sesshomaru's shiro had been built upon. Sesshomaru wasn't there—yet it was only a matter of time before he appeared. InuYasha's entrance into his half-brother's home hadn't gone unnoticed, of that she was sure.

"I didn't want to hurt you," he continued, shoving his hands into his sleeves in the usual picture of a contrite InuYasha, though she suspected he was only acting this way because he was confident she'd return to him. "But it ain't like you're blameless, either. I knew you were pulling away, K'gome, and I went to Minako for comfort. I didn't mean to get her pregnant but I've done the honorable thing. She might be pregnant with my kid, but she won't ever take your place, K'gome. I promise yah that."

Kagome gaped at InuYasha, unable to process his daring. "How _dare_ you," she snapped, feeling the tenuous control of her temper snap. For the first time since she'd left, she felt the anger suffuse her being and she embraced it. "How _dare_ you, InuYasha! I don't even know where to start! You come back here after weeks—no, _months_ of silence!—and tell me that not only were you having an affair behind my back but you got her pregnant and married her on top of it all? _Just who do you think you are_?"

InuYasha stiffened at the vehemence in her tone. "Keh. Relax, K'gome. It ain't a big deal. Kaede did a reading already and it's going to be a girl. You'll still be the one to birth my heir."

She actually felt her jaw drop. "_What_?" she asked him carefully, sure she hadn't heard him correctly.

"I'm capable of lookin' after you both," he continued as if he hadn't heard her protest. She wasn't entirely sure that he had; InuYasha was notorious for ignoring her when he saw fit and he no longer wore the beads for her to _force_ him to listen. "And I know it ain't common where you're from, but I think you'd get along well with Minako. She was a traveling priestess before..."

Kagome felt her spine stiffen as he continued to extol Minako's virtues. _Another priestess? Of course._

"I'll make it up to you, K'gome," he added pleadingly when she didn't speak up. "I know I hurt you with what I said, but I didn't mean it. I was just afraid of how you'd react when you found out what happened. But I swear I'll make it up to you. You'll have all my attention until you're with child, too, and then you and Minako can help one another—"

Kagome shot to her feet, unable to stay seated a moment longer. Without conscious thought, she began pacing to try and work through her wrath. "Do you honestly think I'd go back?" She glowered at the man she now thought of as her ex-husband, no matter what he thought to the contrary now. She wouldn't forget his callous dismissal of her all those months ago, no matter how many apologies he offered her. "I am not going back, InuYasha. _Do you understand me?_ I do not want to have your child and I don't want to be married to you any longer. Let Minako have your so-called heir for all I care. It doesn't matter to me."

InuYasha jumped in front of her and yanked her into his arms, ignoring how she struggled to get away. "I know you're mad," he said soothingly, "but I care about you, K'gome. You're the finest wife a man could want. Even Minako pales compared to how you care for me."

Kagome flinched. _So that's it, then_, she thought to herself tiredly. _He doesn't miss _me_; he just misses someone who catered to his every whim. Well, that's not me any longer._

"Let go," she ground out as she tried to pull herself free. "_Now_, InuYasha."

InuYasha either didn't hear her or was ignoring her. "There's no need to tell the bastard goodbye. I'll replace your belongings later. Get on my back, K'gome; we're leaving."

He released her and squatted, offering her his back.

She took a step back. "No."

InuYasha stood and glared at her. "You're coming back with me," he said lowly, almost as a threat.

"No, InuYasha, I'm not." She took a deep breath, fighting to push back her temper before it got the best of her and she started screaming everything at him she'd wanted to say over the last few months since she'd found out what he'd been up to. "I like it here. Sesshomaru has been a breath of fresh air."

InuYasha's expression turned murderous. "Like hell you are," he snapped. "The bastard has no claim on you."

She forced herself to shrug nonchalantly. "Neither do you," she reminded him. "I don't want to see you again, InuYasha. Have a nice life with Minako."

It took every bit of strength she had to say the words without spitting them at him but somehow she managed. 

Sesshomaru landed beside her, stepping off his cloud with a nonchalance she could only be envious of. "This one recalls sending you a message that she was no longer yours to claim," he said casually as he eyed his brother. He was careful to keep Kagome tucked half behind him and the protective gesture wasn't lost on her.

After all, InuYasha had once done the same, though she wasn't foolish enough to believe that Sesshomaru was doing it because he cared for her.

"Keh." InuYasha glared at his half-brother. "Like you got any right, bastard."

All of the sudden, it made sense. InuYasha didn't want _her_—he just didn't want anyone else to have her, either. It had to have enraged him, receiving Sesshomaru's message after she'd left. He never did like being told what to do nor did he like it when he wasn't in control.

And he had been in control, though she wasn't sure when it had started. Or rather, he hadn't been in control of himself but she'd let him run roughshod over her anyway, all because she'd cared for him and had thought, foolishly, that she could be the one to show him what love and family were like after he'd lost his own.

"That's enough, InuYasha." Kagome was suddenly so exhausted and emotionally drained that she had to blink back her tired eyes to stay awake. "Just...go."

InuYasha snorted. "I ain't leaving without you, K'gome. I know you're upset now, but—"

"InuYasha," Sesshomaru interrupted coolly. "Leave. You are unwelcome here."

InuYasha's hand moved to his sword.

_He wouldn't dare draw it on his half-brother_, she thought as she watched InuYasha in surprise. _He hasn't engaged in a fight with Sesshomaru since we defeated Naraku._

Sesshomaru's gaze didn't so much as flicker. "It would be most unwise of you, InuYasha, to draw your blade now. Return to your wife, hanyo. There is nothing of yours here."

Kagome saw Sesshomaru's claws glow a faint green light that reminded her for a moment of an interlude between Sesshomaru and Kagome in Sesshomaru's father's grave.

_His poison_, she realized. _He'd use it on his own brother?_

InuYasha's gaze flickered to Sesshomaru's glowing claws and the blade that pulsed in response at Sesshomaru's side. "Keh." His hand moved back. "This ain't it, K'gome. I'll be back."

Sesshomaru's expression remained impassive. "The guards will not allow you past a second time, InuYasha."

"Keh. Like I care, bastard." With those parting words, InuYasha turned and leapt over the shiro wall in the distance without so much as a lingering glance back.

Kagome watched him leave. "I'm tired," she said abruptly, turning to leave Sesshomaru without another word. She headed back to her room and as soon as her head touched the pillow, she was asleep.

But her dreams that night were horrible, convoluted images of the relationship she'd once shared with InuYasha, back when things had been good between them.

And to her horror, she dreamed about having his child back when it had been just the two of them, and the dream had taunted her with everything she'd lost.


	8. Chapter 8

InuYasha appeared twice more and twice more Sesshomaru's guards evicted him from the shiro without wasting so much as a word. 

Kagome herself only knew because she'd stumbled upon Jaken proudly proclaiming such to Sesshomaru one evening in the garden, bragging about his success in keeping the 'mangy hanyo' out of the shiro. Sesshomaru hadn't bothered with much of a response, defaulting to his customary 'hnn' but that hadn't deflated Jaken's pride. The imp had simply puffed out his chest and continued crowing his lord's prowess as he followed Sesshomaru out of the garden and to Sesshomaru's own study.

It had been several weeks since then and though Kagome no longer pined for what she'd lost, she couldn't foresee herself moving forward, either.

It wasn't fear or anger that held her back, but a lack of desire to pursue anything else with anyone else. She simply didn't see anyone in the same light as she once had InuYasha.

But it did her no good to remain here on Sesshomaru's charity, either, so finally one night as Sesshomaru joined her for dinner, she blurted out that she wanted to leave.

She hadn't really expected him to say anything. She'd suspected that he'd taken her in because of his own pride and irritation with his half-brother than out of any real desire to help her and therefore would be happy to see her go.

Instead, he surprised her by curtly saying, "No."

He then sat down, expecting her to do the same without further complaint.

Astonished, she remained standing. "Why not?" she asked him in disbelief. "InuYasha hasn't been back in weeks. I appreciate your help, Sesshomaru, but I want to return to my friends."

She had no actual intention of returning to her friends anytime soon. She simply wasn't ready to face their overwhelming sympathy at her loss. They'd mean well and it would come from a place of care, but she knew well enough by now to know that it would feel suffocating. Miroku would try and rationalize what had happened and encourage her to move forward while Sango would encourage Kagome to follow her heart and find love again. Shippo, if he was visiting, would want to coddle Kagome and be coddled in turn, which he seemed to think resolved most of Kagome's heartache as he had before, and Rin would feel the need to drag Kagome out under the pretense of finding herbs for Kaede while she tried in vain to cheer Kagome up with flower chains and crowns. And Kaede herself would tut and grumble about the fickleness of InuYasha's heart and his foolish youth.

It would be completely, inevitably, too much all at once. She wanted peace and quiet to heal, not chaos.

She also couldn't bear to see InuYasha and his very pregnant new wife. She fervently hoped she never had to see either one of them again.

"This one claimed you before his kin." Sesshomaru's voice was devoid of any emotion whatsoever. "As diluted though the hanyo's blood might be, he still carries the blood of this one's honorable father."

_Well that explains exactly nothing_, Kagome groused to herself.

"Right," she said after a moment when Sesshomaru evidently didn't see a reason to explain himself further. "Well, I don't know what that means, exactly, but you can't keep me here against my will."

Sesshomaru raised a brow. "Hnn. This one distinctly recalls hearing you tell the hanyo that you liked it here. In fact, you went as far as to state that this one has been 'a breath of fresh air.' Are human memories so frail that you have already forgotten this?"

Kagome flushed. She remembered the words now, just as she remembered _why_ she'd said them in the first place. "No, I remember, Sesshomaru."

"Good." Sesshomaru indicated her cushion with his eyes.

At a loss, Kagome sat down and reached for her rice bowl to begin eating. Once she'd taken food herself, Sesshomaru reached for a portion himself. 

He had told her once that he hadn't eaten human food, though InuYasha had done so voraciously. Yet at some point after he'd begun dining with her, he'd seemed to notice her discomfort at being the only one eating and he had begun to eat in her presence. He never ate much, but it was enough to not make her self-conscious during her own meal.

"I don't understand, Sesshomaru," Kagome finally said, putting down her chopsticks to rest on the lip of her bowl. "I don't have a purpose here or anything I can contribute. Why keep me here?"

She looked up to find Sesshomaru's golden eyes staring at her. "Must there be a purpose in being here?" he asked her lightly, as if he didn't care how she answered.

She suspected, however, that Sesshomaru never did anything that he would see as a waste of time. If he asked the question, then he must desire the answer.

"Humans like to have a purpose," she said after a moment. "Our lives are short so we like to find meaning and purpose in the time we have allotted."

"Hnn." Sesshomaru seemed disinterested in her response as he set his own bowl down, barely touched, and rested his chopsticks upon it. "Then perhaps you miss the purpose before you, Kagome."

He rose with a grace she could only envy and made his way towards the door. As he reached it, he turned and she gasped at the heated look he gave her, though her brain faltered, unable to process what it could mean. "When you are ready to find it, Kagome, you will learn of the purpose you seek to find. Perhaps in time, you will come to understand why this one has done what he has done. Perhaps not. He hardly believes it himself."

With the last words quietly spoken, Sesshomaru left Kagome alone to her thoughts.


End file.
